


Race to the bottom

by Aleafen



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26771941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aleafen/pseuds/Aleafen
Summary: John and Rodney teach Ronon how to race the remote controlled cars. Teyla supervises.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Race to the bottom

**Author's Note:**

> A response to a prompt left on the comment_fic LJ by templefugate.

"The rules are simple," McKay declared, adjusting the antenna on his remote. "Whoever manages to get their car to the bottom of the pier first, wins."

Ronon peered down the ramp angling down to the pier and the crates that had been set up as obstacles in the way. "Right," he said. 

Sheppard pushed himself off the wall where he was casually leaning (as per usual). "Using the remote," he clarified. "You can't just pick up the car and run down with it."

"What?!" Rodney sputtered, turning a rather unimpressed gaze upon his companions. "Of course you can't just run it down!" His entire being seemed to scream that such a thing should be obvious, but John noticed that Ronon suddenly looked more doubtful about this game.

"So, what's the point?" Ronon asked.

"To beat the other person,"

"Bragging rights,"

McKay and Sheppard replied in unison. 

"Okay." Accepting one of the remotes, Ronon tested the controls a moment, before nodding. "I'm ready."

"Then, begin," Teyla announced, looking up momentarily from Torren in order to preside over their race - well, the beginning of it anyway. Torren was far more interesting than watching the Colonel and McKay carry out their particular brand of flirting while pretending that wasn't what they were doing. 

Immediately, Ronon shot his car forward, soon realizing that while he couldn't carry the car, he would have to jog along behind to keep up and see where he was steering it. 

"C'mon Rodney!" Sheppard exclaimed, "he's beating you! He's never done this before and he's beating you!"

"Well if you wouldn't keep breathing in my *ear*!"

Teyla glanced up to see the Colonel standing practically on McKay's heels, chin over his shoulder. Torren burbled up at her. 

"Yes," she agreed with her son, "I do believe you are right."

Despite the handicap of having an annoying flyboy practically hanging off him, Rodney managed to shoot his car in front of Ronon's on the second turn - it was all physics really - only to find that *someone* had moved some of the crates and what was meant to be a clear stretch was now a dead-end. 

The remote-controlled car barrelled head-first into the too-narrow gap between two crates, wheels spinning uselessly as it stuck fast. 

Ronon laughed. 

"C'mon Rodney, back it up. Back it up." Sheppard hissed.

Rodney smashed his fingers against the controls. The wheels whined, spinning, then - 

"Yes!" John declared, as the car lurched backwards, spun 270 degrees then shot down after Ronon's car in hot pursuit. 

They made it out onto the pier, the red tie someone had scavenged from somewhere waving merrily in the breeze as their finishing flag. 

"No touching the car!" John snapped at Ronon, whose car had spun into a corner and he was having trouble getting it out. 

Rodney's car clipped a crate on its way past, tipping up onto two wheels. It slid forward, teetering on its side.

"No touching," Ronon reminded gleefully as he managed to get his car out of the corner and headed in the right direction once more.

"You just need to -"

"I know what I'm doing!"

"Give it to me -"

"Don't you touch -"

"Like this -"

"Would you just -"

One moment, Rodney was standing on the pier, fighting with Sheppard - that idiot - over the controller. He knew what he was doing thank-you-very-much and certainly didn't need Colonel crazy hair to help him!

The next - he was gasping in shock as he tipped over the side of the pier and into the water. Water which he was pretty sure he just swallowed some of - which, great, that meant he was going to die a horrible death from some alien bacteria and - 

Sheppard.

This was all Sheppard's fault!

"What did - you - you - idiot!" Rodney declared, thumping his wet fist against Sheppard's equally soaked chest.

The water had managed to coax the Colonel's hair into some kind of semblance of order, slicking it down to his head - no, wait, he thought too soon. The Colonel's hair was just as stubborn and ornery as the man himself and already starting to stick back up in spikes all over the place. 

"Me?" Sheppard demanded. "You're the one who wouldn't -"

"If you hadn't -"

"If you'd just let me -"

"It was my turn!"

Teyla cleared her throat from above them. Both men turned to look, seeing her standing at the edge of the pier, Torren securely settled on her hip as she gave them her disappointed Teyla look #13.

Ronon jogged up to stand beside her. "I won!" he declared happily.

Rodney's eyes widened. "The remote!" he lifted the remote swiftly out of the water, shaking it for good measure. "Catch!" he ordered Ronon, tossing it up to him. "And dry it as best you can!"

"Please tell me that'll still work," John began.

"Well, if you hadn't tried to put your hands where they weren't wanted!"

"You weren't doing it right!"

Folding his arms across his chest, McKay scowled. "Get. Me. Out. Of. Here." he said.

Sheppard narrowed his eyes. "Say 'please'."

"Please," Rodney spat. 

For a moment, Sheppard's gaze lingered on the strong curve of Rodney's biceps, clearly outlined beneath his wet shirt. Then he turned and swam to the rope ladder they'd hung off the pier for just such occasions.

Above them, Teyla and Ronon began to make their way back up the pier. 

"You should probably try to dry that," Teyla told Ronon, nodding at the remote. 

A shout behind them had them turning, to see Sheppard halt in helping McKay back up onto the pier in order to poke him in the chest. McKay's arms pinwheeled a moment, before latching onto Sheppard's t-shirt and dragging him back over the side with him. There was a soft splash.

Ronon smirked. 

"Just hope they don't realize you bumped into Sheppard," Teyla told him. 

Sputtering as his head broke the surface, Rodney glared at the Colonel, brushing water out of his eyes. 

"Oh great!" he said, "just wonderful. Thanks ever so much, Colonel. Now I'm going to have to get twice as many inoculations -"

"You're fine," Sheppard replied. He shook his head, water spraying everywhere and hair standing out every which way. 

"You're insufferable!" Rodney stroked towards the rope ladder. "Sometimes I don't know why I -"

"What? Put up with me?" Despite his angry words, Sheppard grabbed hold of the ladder, holding it steady as Rodney started up it. 

"Not that," Rodney snapped, pulling himself back onto the pier. Grabbing the bottom of his shirt he tried to wring it out, before giving it up as a lost cause. He looked up at to see Sheppard staring at him. "What?" he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

Sheppard cleared his throat. "Nothing," he said, turning away.

Rodney let an inarticulate growl escape his throat. "You - you -" he hissed, stomping after the other man (it really wasn't that easy to stomp in soaking wet clothing, but at least Sheppard's ass was on clear display before him - no, wait, he was meant to be angry. Angry!).

"I, what?" Sheppard snapped, spinning around to face Rodney.

"Sometimes I could just..." Rodney's hands clenched, fingers twitching. 

"Could just what?" Sheppard dared him, leaning in close.

And well - fine. If Sheppard wasn't going to ever do anything, then -

Grabbing hold of the front of Sheppard's t-shirt, Rodney dragged him the few last remaining inches towards him, slamming his mouth down against Sheppard's at the same time. 

For a moment - a horrible, terrible, worse than alien bacteria, moment - Rodney thought he'd made a mistake. Then Sheppard - John - was opening his mouth and tilting his head and pressing his tongue against Rodney's and oh, when did Rodney lose all feeling in his legs?

They sank down to the pier, somehow managing to not tip themselves over while still getting their legs all tangled up together. 

And okay, so Rodney had imagined kissing Sheppard before (he was a genius, so sue him), but nothing had quite prepared him for the reality and -

Rodney jerked backwards. "Is that seawater I taste?" he demanded. "Did you swallow the water? Am I going to need even more shots?!"

Sheppard just stared at him for a moment, before throwing his head back in one of those ridiculous donkey brays of his. 

"Oh great," Rodney muttered, "now you're laughing at me."

Managing to stifle his laughter, John leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against Rodney's. "Don't ever change, Rodney," he said.

"Well, of course not," Rodney huffed, "I'm awesome."

And somehow, staring into John's sparkling eyes, Rodney actually believed it. 

"I'm sorry about the remote," John said. 

Rodney waved one hand. "Eh, I'll build you a better one."

"Cool."

"Nah, I don't think they'll care how they ended up in the water," Ronon decided, sharing a smile with Teyla as they turned and left their friends in peace - well, whatever peace could be had with the way they continued to bicker.


End file.
